lizah wrote:2. A Japanese boyfriend/girlfriend
If it's any consolation, this isn't always true. My wife hates it when I try to speak Japanese because it's easier for her just to speak English. And she hates it when I ask for advice about Japanese too because she gets bored trying to explain. Nevertheless, I have still managed to reach some level of Japanese comprehension. I've taken a few JLPT 3 past papers under exam conditions and passed them all - though I don't really think that helps in terms of day-to-day conversation.
Have you checked out the
All Japanese All the Timewebsite? It's a bit controversial, and the writing tone seems to rub some people up the wrong way, but there's some very good advice - which I shall attempt to distill here (sorry if any of this is really obvious).
First, if your kanji isn't very good, then I'd really recommend Remembering the Kanji by Heisig, and
this website which offers a flashcard system to help. It's basically a system of mnemonics, where you make up stories to help you remember how to write about 2000 of the most commonly used kanji, and how to understand their meaning. You learn them in a specific order that also helps memorise them. It's a little bit controversial because it doesn't teach you how to read the kanji, but once you've learnt them all, you can then start to learn their various readings simply by daily use.
And once you've learned them all, it will open up reams of learning material, because it will help you read anything. You'll find yourself just reading adverts on the train trying to work out what they mean and so on. Or you can start reading manga on your train to work, which brings us on to the next bit of advice, which is the use of spaced repetition flashcard software, such as
Anki.
Basically, instead of learning vocab and grammar separately, you should put Japanese sentences into your flashcards. That way you'll learn the vocab and the grammar at the same time, and the flashcard software will test you whenever it thinks you're about to forget until the sentences sink in to your long-term memory.
For example, here's one of my flashcards:
ここではカードで払ってもかまいません。ここではカードではらってもかまいません。
here-in as for card-with pay it-doesn't-matter
You can pay by card here.
Verb て-form もかまわない means 'it doesn't matter if-'
So when I test myself, I test myself to see if I understand the sentence in bold.
But the key part of this guy's advice is that you do this for thousands and thousands of sentences. So instead of knowing abstract grammar rules (eg. that you form volitional Group I verbs by replacing the last sound of the -masu form with ou), and then taking ten minutes to try to use those rules in the middle of a conversation, you just learn sentences (eg. いっしょに飲もう (issho ni nomou) means 'let's have a drink', or 休もう (yasumou) means 'let's have a rest') and intuit the grammar rules (just as you would in English, in fact. As an aside: at my wedding the other week my wife's friends were looking at my JLPT3 Grammar guide and all of them said that they found it really difficult to understand because they're used to intuiting grammar).
And the way you find the sentences to put in your flashcards is to read or watch or listen to actual Japanese. When you come across a sentence that you don't understand, you use a dictionary and a grammar dictionary to work out what it means, and then you enter it into your flashcards.
Which brings us on to the final part of the guy's advice: you should really try to listen and watch and read Japanese all the time. You mention that this is the most difficult bit for you, but if you're in Japan then you should be able to watch Japanese TV, or listen to the radio in the evenings. Obviously it will be difficult at first, but I think there are plenty of shows that are entertaining enough even if you only barely understand them (eg. Hajimete no Otsukai, where tiny kids go off on their own to do their mum's shopping, or a lot of the game shows and comedies). Can you listen to your ipod at work? Perhaps you could listen to Japanese music, or just have Japanese podcasts or stories playing in the background while you work. And maybe you could use your journey to work to read read manga, or books like the
Japanese Graded Reader series. What about the back of cooking packets? If you're making a curry from a packet it's got fairly simple instructions, accompanied by diagrams, and I got quite a kick out of the first one that I managed to comprehend.
Whatever you do, don't give up. You might be making slower progress than you want to, but I bet you're making progress. I still think my Japanese is rubbish, but it is definitely less rubbish than when I started!