Funny Japanese Language Slip-up Stories

[schwing]

I just had one happen to me a couple days ago and was wondering if anyone cared to share theirs. Here's mine:

Some Japanese students came over as a group and I, among a bunch of others, were invited to a house for a "sushi party." I saw this as an opportunity to practice my (limited) Japanese.

Being a vegetarian, I asked my teacher to help me say "I don't eat meat". I got "watashi wa niku wo tabemasen." Well, during the party, and I admit I was a little nervous, it came out as "watashi wa neko wo tabemasen." I got some giggles and once I figured out what I had said (I don't eat cats) I was a little red-faced to say the least.



Anyone else care to share?

-ken

[Jason]

In class I once said 洗面所[せんめんじょ] instead of 推薦状[すいめんじょう]. I still get them mixed up. f(^_^);;

[Brody]

When someone says something that is hard to believe, you can say うそ！ (which literally means, "lie" but can be used jokingly, as "you're kidding!). When I was a beginner, a teacher in one of my classes said something we all couldn't believe and I said くそ！くそ！　instead of うそ！うそ！

[maxiewawa]

Someone asked me how my mother was (お母さんはどう？）

I couldn't remember if okaasan was mother or father. I needed to ask "Is 'okaasan' male?" I said,

"お母さんは男のですね？" (Dad is a male, right?)

...implying I wasn't sure of the gender of my father.

[Bueller_007]

Someone asked me how my mother was (お母さんはどう？）

I couldn't remember if okaasan was mother or father. I needed to ask "Is 'okaasan' male?" I said,

"お母さんは男のですね？" (Dad is a male, right?)

...implying I wasn't sure of the gender of my father.

Actually, that question means "Your mother is a man, right?" or "Mom, you're a man, right?"

The o-~-san style is only used when referring to someone else's parents. (Or when speaking to your parents directly.)

To refer to your own parents in the third person, you should say 父 (chichi) for father and 母 (haha) for mother. Or perhaps better, 親父 (oyaji) and おふくろ (ofukuro).

I see you still have a bit of お母さん confusion.

[maxiewawa]

Everyone's been giving me different answers, so I just switch between both randomly!

I know that 'chichi' and 'haha' are honorific, so I just use them when speaking politely.

[Bueller_007]

Everyone's been giving me different answers, so I just switch between both randomly!

I know that 'chichi' and 'haha' are honorific, so I just use them when speaking politely.

They're not honorific... Honorific (尊敬語, sonkeigo) means that you raise the person up to a level higher than yourself. So for example, 貴社 (kisha) is an "honorific" way to say "your company". お母さん and お父さん are the honorific forms of mother and father.

Perhaps you meant to say "humble" (謙譲語, kenjougo), which is used to imply that oneself, or someone in one's own group is "not worthy", if you will. 当社 (tousha) is a humble way to say "my company".

They have the same net effect: "you are high and we are low", but the terminology is different.

I'm not sure that 母 and 父 qualify as "humble" language... They might just be regular non-honorific words. But I don't know about this... I just know when to use them.

Here's a good link I just found that gives some examples of honorific/humble expressions:
http://www.hyou.net/ka/keigo.htm

[Alan]

Several embarrassing memories so far:

1. Confusing 蟹（かに）with 紙／髪／神（かみ）when talking about eating crab.
2. Interpreting 寂しい（さびしい） as 'Are you lonely', rather than 'I'll miss you' (a contextual error).
3. Saying 結構です（けっこうです）when i should have said いいです。

There are several other cases, where I've still not quite figured out the error, one involving using the wrong level of politeness. There's going to be lots more. 申し訳ありませんでしたね。

[Jason]

I'm not sure that 母 and 父 qualify as "humble" language... They might just be regular non-honorific words. But I don't know about this... I just know when to use them.

They are humble. I guess since they're so common they don't seem "as humble", but they are.

[Kareninjapan]

I once asked a student if he'll eat おとこのみやき　instead of おこのみやき during his upcoming trip to Osaka. This was over a year ago, and i'm still being laughed at!

[Neo-Matrix]

I'm kinda new on the forum, but I thought this was a good place to start. I'm at school in America and have a good friend from Tokyo.

Sometimes, when I'm talking about studying Japanese, I say 自転車(じてんしゃ）　instead of 辞書（じしょ）。　Doesn't seem to make sense, but I think it's because my Dictionary is from Kodansha...　

[Peter]

I could go on and on and on, but for now I offer this one:

I was having a bad day, and my Japanese friend asked why. I replied:

夕べルームメートに侵された。・Yuube ruumumeeto ni oKAsareta. - Last night I was raped by roomate, I wanted to say awoken - 起こされた・oKOsareta - by my roomate. The listening party was quite concerned! And to compound things, my roomate was a girl. Damage control on that took some time, but the moral of this story is becareful when playing with passives.

[Jason]

.......ouch.

[JockZon]

Ah Peter, you always have the most amazing stories. Time for a self-biography?

[maxiewawa]

夕べルームメートに侵された。・Yuube ruumumeeto ni oKAsareta. - Last night I was raped by roomate, I wanted to say awoken - 起こされた・oKOsareta - by my roomate.

That's actually helped me a lot, I was having great trouble getting my head around both intransitive/transitive verbs and passive ones. You've given me a good example sentence with both! Now I'm only having moderate trouble...

Hey, I think there's a grammar point or two to be made in a future lesson about transative/intransitive and passive/active verbs...