Describing survey results in Japanese / 調査結果の記

[Satelle]

Looking for some tips on how to describe data, trends etc. I have included some sentences that I hope someone can scrutinise for me. Arigatou.
私の日本語試験を合格するのためになるどなたかに調査結果の記述している文を手伝ってもらう下さい。ありがとう　：D

私はこの文を作りました：

98 out of 100 people preferred chocolate
100人に98人がチョコレートを好みました
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一週間あたり五日大学に出席する大学生より一週間あたり四日大学に出席する大学生のほうが多いです
There are more university students that attend university for 4 days per week than there are that attend 5 days per week
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In answer to the question, "What is the food at the college like?", most people said it was not tasty
「カレッジの食事どうですか」と言う質問に対して、ほとんどの人は「美味しくない」と答えた
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In 2015, it is expected that more than half of people under 15 will be using touchscreen style PCs
2015年には15歳未満の人の半数以上がタッチスクリーン式PCを利用するつもり
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Ten percent of respondents answered that they play sports everyday
毎日スポーツをすると答え人が１０パーセント
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[amost]

In the touchscreen PC sentence, would はずです　be more accurate to your original sentence than つもり?

and in the final sentece:
答え人 -> 答えた人

[Satelle]

Ah, はずです. Indeed, I think that would be more appropriate. つもり is a new word for me and I think it is more suitable if you are attributing the ownership of the expectation to a specified person or group. So the English statement is somewhat distanced from a person or group simply because of the use of 'it' in 'it is expected'. In this case はず seems as if it would be the winner.

答えた、はい、そうそう、もちろん！

Thanks for those two amost.

[amost]

no problem
yeah, __________ つもりです is like, "plan to _______"
so I think it techinically would make sense to say that those people who were surveyed plan to use those PCs, but はず (expectation) seemed like what the original sentence was.

[Satelle]

Thanks again. One more thing though, my 電子辞書 is saying that つもり has another use (besides plan, intentions etc.) and that is for an expectation/belief that is attributable to someone.

So the sample sentences from my EX-WORD are:

つもり Definition 2:

君に来てもらえるつもりでいた
I expected you to OR that you would come (for me). OR
I had counted on you coming.

あすは会議があるからそのつもりで
Expect (be ready for) a meeting tomorrow.


So if I wanted to change the orignal sentence:

"In 2015, it is expected that more than half of people under 15 will be using touchscreen style PCs" / 2015年には15歳未満の人の半数以上がタッチスクリーン式PCを利用するはずです

to

"the President of the Japanese department of Statistics expects that more than half of people under 15 will be using touchscreen style PCs",

I think that I would then end that sentence with つもりです.

[amost]

That usage of "tsumori" is something like "convinced that ________", like, to be in a state of mind. So it's technically an extension of the first definition.

However, you can only use it that way in the first person (or 2nd person for questions), or someone who you empathize with. For example, "my mom" or "my son" etc. You cannot use it in the 3rd person that way. (although I think you can use it in the 3rd person for questions too)

Also, I think there's another restriction too. When you want to use the "conviction" definition of tsumori, you can only use it with a noun
"sensei no tumori da" - someone is convinced that they are a teacher
or one of those noun-adjectives
"genki na tumori da" - someone is convinced that they're healthy
or a past tense verb
"mou hanashita tsumori deshita" - "I thought I already talked (to you)"

[Satelle]

なるほど！！
お疲れ様でした。

[amost]

I highly recommend
A Dictionary of Basic Japanese Grammar by Seiichi Makino & Michio Tsutsui
and when you're ready, A Dictionary of Intermediate Japaense Grammar, and the Advanced one too.

I find them extremely useful even for grammatical concepts that I already know. They go into very useful nuances of the grammar that might not have been obvious.

[Javizy]

In the touchscreen PC sentence, would はずです　be more accurate to your original sentence than つもり?

I think this is a bit too subjective for the context. It's like 'they should be ~,' 'I reckon ~.' I think something like 「～と予想される」「～と考えられる」「～と見込まれている」would be better for more objectively speaking about the study. I second the recommendation of the grammar books, by the way.

私の日本語試験を合格するのためになるどなたかに調査結果の記述している文を手伝ってもらう下さい。

You can't use もらう and ください together. The subject of もらう is the speaker, whereas the subject of ください is the person doing the favour.

あなたは私にくれる。You give to me.
私はあなたにもらう。I receive from you.

So you can ask somebody to give you something (ください), but you can't ask yourself to receive something. If you do want to use 「もらう」 in a request, you ask it using the negative potential 「もらえない？」. Seems like your Japanese is already fairly advanced, so you probably already know that, but just in case ね

Ten percent of respondents answered that they play sports everyday
毎日スポーツをすると答え人が１０パーセント

You could add を占めている here. It's a really useful phrase for this sort of thing if you don't know it.

[Satelle]

Boy! I am so happy with the quality of responses on this forum.

@Javizy:
Thanks so much for your advice. If there is one thing I really like getting advice on apart from the basics, it is how to take clauses that little bit further and make them more sophisticated. So thanks for を占めている!

Yes, 「～と予想される」and 「～と見込まれている」seem to be more appropriate, considering the context of a forecast.

もらうください, yep..that was a rookie mistake, I now see how that couldn't work.

@amost:
Thanks for the recommendation for A Dictionary of Basic Japanese Grammar. I have been looking at preview pages and this looks like an amazing tool. The authors are really thorough with the examples aren't they? Good find indeed.