Help me propose to my girlfriend (urgently!)

[Taurus]

(Reposted)

So the background is that I'm getting married next month. We've had to rush it because of visas running out etc. So I haven't had time to formally propose yet. But next week we're going to Hawaii with her parents. Before we go, I was hoping to send her dad an email to ask his permission. Normally, I'd get my girlfriend to look over my pidgin Japanese to correct it, but for obvious reasons I'd rather not do that. So I wonder if you guys could look over the following and let me know where I've made mistakes, and if there are any ways of improving it. Oh, and I'd like to send it tomorrow sometime, so please be quick! Thanks in advance!

What I'd sort of like to say:

Hori-san,

Long time no see! It feels like it’s autumn already. I’m sorry that I haven’t been in touch recently on email, but as usual, I have been busy with work, and so haven’t had time to write in Japanese, which I still find difficult.

I just wanted to get in touch with you to thank you for arranging this trip to Hawaii. As ever, you’re very kind. I’m very much looking forward to seeing you in Hawaii.

As you know, Shino and I will be getting married next month. As you might also know, I haven’t formally proposed to her yet. I would like to ask your permission to do so. I intend to ask her to marry me in Hawaii, with my mother’s ring – which is one tradition here in England. I intend to do my best to look after her, and as you know my family are very much looking forward to welcoming her into our family. So I hope you will approve of me finally proposing to her.

Well, that’s it for now. I look forward to seeing you next week!

And here's my own stab at translating it:

堀さま
こんにちは！おひさしぶりです！もう秋になったと思っていますね。
失礼しますが最近エメエルを出しませんでした。あいかわらず仕事はとてもいそがしいですから。出したいですが日本語で書くじかんがありません。
このエメエルはありがとうと言いたいですから。ハワイイの旅行はどもうありがとうございます！あいかわらずとても親切です。堀に会いますよくたのしみです。

来月詩乃と結婚します（それでたのしいです！）。でも私はプロポサルをまだしていません。

詩乃と結婚してもいいですかと言いたいです。ハワイイで結婚のプロポサルをするつもりです。母のゆびわを使いたいです。いぎりすのしゅうかんです。詩乃と結婚させていただけませんか。

[I intend to do my best to look after her]. 私のかぞくは詩乃によく迎えたいです。[I hope you will give me your approval.]

じゃまた来週。

Any suggestions will be much appreciated!

[Taurus]

Help me Japanesepod, you're my only hope!

[Psy]

I think (and can totally relate to) people aren't wanting to touch this one because of both its importance and the level of formality which is expected in such a letter. Letter-writing in Japanese is a study within a study, and coming up with something that flows nicely while still following cultural guidelines is something that simply cannot be learned without the guide and careful scrutiny of a native speaker-- a luxury most of us at J-pod don't have readily available. Personally, if your wedding is already looked upon positively by the family, I would suggest you simply do your best to write from the heart what it is you want to say. It is already quite clear to them that you aren't a native speaker, and I'd imagine the fact that you even tried to write such a letter in Japanese would go quite well with her father.

If I had any suggestions, I would write with a bit more reserve, and probably avoid using the father's name without any suffixes.

ご婚約おめでとうございます

[Taurus]

Ah, okay. Thanks for the reply. The thing is, I have a very good relationship with her parents, so I'm not really worried about the level of formality - it's only an email after all. It's more that I wanted it to be grammatically correct and comprehensible, at the most basic polite level.

So any help would still be much appreciated!

[olapointe]

hi, my husband showed me your posting and since I am japanese, I thought I could help
There are few points that I can suggest but you are doing great with your letter and
...this is my opinion but,,, if you are asking for permission to get married, you should use your own words for your future father-in-law
I'm sure he'll understand you!!!


>堀さま
こんにちは！おひさしぶりです！(this is great start!!!)
or you can even say...
こんにちは、ご無沙汰しております。(gobusata shiteorimasu)
this might be more polite

>もう秋になったと思っていますね。
this, I do not understand...if you want to say it's almost autum...it'll be..
もうすぐ秋ですね。

>失礼しますが最近エメエルを出しませんでした。あいかわらず仕事はとてもいそがしいですから。出したいですが日本語で書くじかんがありません。
shitureishimasu is Excuse me...so if you want to say, sorry I haven't been writing you a mail...
最近メールを書けず　申し訳ありませんでした。
相変わらず仕事が忙しく、日本語で書く時間がありませんでした。

>このエメエルはありがとうと言いたいですから。ハワイイの旅行はどもうありがとうございます！あいかわらずとても親切です。堀に会いますよくたのしみです。
air mail ... エアメール。if it's a letter than it's 手紙（てがみ）、if it's an e-mail...メールorイーメール...normaly it'sメール。
ハワイ旅行のプレゼントどうもありがとうございます。(thank you for the present will be fine I think...)　
とても嬉しかったです。(in japanese, it's better "thank you, I was so pleased"than "you are so kind")
堀様（お父さんとお母さん）にお会いできるのを楽しみにしています。
(you can use father/mother too!!!)

>来月詩乃と結婚します（それでたのしいです！）。でも私はプロポサルをまだしていません。
詩乃と結婚してもいいですかと言いたいです。ハワイイで結婚のプロポサルをするつもりです。母のゆびわを使いたいです。いぎりすのしゅうかんです。詩乃と結婚させていただけませんか。
you should ask before you say I will marry shino next month...
ハワイへ行った時なのですが、Ｓｈｉｎｏさんに結婚を申し込みたいと考えています。
結婚は来月と決めてあるものの、まだきちんとプロポーズをしていなかったので、この場を借りて彼女にきちんと伝えられればと考えていました。
(this is if you have a plan to get married next month..I guessed so )
でも、その前にお父さんとお母さんに承諾（syo u da ku）を得たい（e ta i）と思い　このメールを書いています。
Ｓｈｉｎｏさんと結婚させてください。（this, I do not want to change eventhough there are many ways to say, this is your acctual word right;p!!!）
婚約指輪（ko n ya ku yu bi wa）にはイギリスの習慣をもって、母のものを
使いたいと思っています。

>[I intend to do my best to look after her]. 私のかぞくは詩乃によく迎えたいです。[I hope you will give me your approval.]

僕がＳｈｉｎｏさんを一生（issyou...all my life）守ります。
this will be translated,,,I will protect her for all my life... is it good enough? or too much,,,
僕の（私の）家族はＳｈｉｎｏさんを家族の一員（ichi in）として迎えられることを喜んで（yorokonde）います。
結婚の許可（きょか）をいただけることを願うばかりです。（ねがうばかり）

ではまた来週　メールを書きます。


as I said, you can use whatever you think it's good from my words but it is good as it is too
if you have any question, plese write to my husband and I will be pleased to help you out.
good luck!!!!

[olapointe]

sorry... me again... I didn't read the english version (what you wanted to write ,,, the original english letter)... so I might have confused you a liitle with all the explanation... sorry about that...

about your family welcoming her ..part, you can say..
私の家族はＳｈｉｎｏさんが家族の一員となることを心まちにしています。
would work too I think

again, hope you can write your letter in time!! good luck!

[Taurus]

domo arigatou gozaimasu! shinsetsu desu! That's exactly the sort of thing I was after. Choudo ii!

[Taurus]

Thanks everybody! Just to let you know, he replied straight away and said my email made him very happy. Domo arigatou gozaimasu!

[Taurus]

And, as a further update, we got married last weekend. Pictures [were - url removed to save his bandwidth!] here, although they're not the official ones so double chins and bald patches haven't been photoshopped out, unfortunately.

I even managed to say a few words at the start of my speech in Japanese. Indeed, although my comprehension/listening/grammar skills far outstrip my speaking skills, I impressed all of my non-Japanese speaking friends with my ability to communicate with our Japanese guests. And although that's largely because *any* little bits of Japanese sound impressive to people who don't speak it, as one of my Polish friends put it: "You're saying something to them in Japanese and they understand. That's speaking Japanese." Which, of course, is true.

[Belton]

Congratulations. Omedetou gozaimashita.
I wish you both a long and happy life together.

Your bride looks very beautiful and you look quite dashing yourself.
(I can outdo you in any baldy double chin competition. )

In Ireland no less. The paperwork (and fee) and waiting times made my head spin. Japanese paperwork was much more straightforward when I got married recently.
I look better in hakama than a tux and I got to sing karaoke!

[Taurus]

Congratulations. Omedetou gozaimashita.
I wish you both a long and happy life together.

Your bride looks very beautiful and you look quite dashing yourself.

Thank you!

In Ireland no less. The paperwork (and fee) and waiting times made my head spin. Japanese paperwork was much more straightforward when I got married recently.
I look better in hakama than a tux and I got to sing karaoke!

In the coldest place in Ireland no less! Markree Castle, which is where the lowest temperature on record was taken, about a century ago. And one of the windiest, close to some of Europe's best surfing spots, apparently. Which is why we might look a bit windswept and chilly in the photos!

One of the reasons we decided to hold it in Ireland, instead of Japan, was to make it easier for my family to attend - but as they pointed out, in the six hours it took most of them to drive up to Sligo from Cork, they could have been half way to Tokyo!

[Belton]

Cork?! I went to school in Rochestown. A long time ago. I doubt I'd find my way around Cork anymore.

We decided on Japan so my wife's family and friends could come. With International marriages I guess one side is going to have a long journey or miss out. I felt it was more important to my wife. I'd have been perfectly content with the Ward Office and hanburg restaurant that was our civil affair. But despite often not really knowing what was going on and feeling like it was a Japanese exam in places our day was a blast. [/url]

[Taurus]

I'm glad we went with the western traditions of not giving gifts to the guests, although yours sound excellent. And I'm jealous about the karaoke! My wife banned it (presumably because she knew that I would hog it all night). But the other big difference between a western and Japanese wedding is that ours went on all night. I think we had our last drink at about 5am...

And yeah, my family's from Cork (in fact my mum was once the Rose of Cork and my dad taught Donal Lenihan how to play rugby!). But we fell in love with Markree when we saw it so made them all drive up to Sligo instead...

[Taurus]

And yet more about my wedding, here!