Help with Japanese Please, Thanks

[driprip]

pHajimemashite watashi wa danoyo desu. Yoroshiku Onegai shimasu,
Watashi wa netsubo suru narau nihongo soshite bunka
Watashi wabiru naraba kyosei
Watashi wa nashi de (????) ie onegai shimasu yurusu enki suru han’ no


Nice to meet you, I am Daniel, Please be kind to me,
I desire to learn Japanese language and culture.
I apologize if this is a imposition.
I am without internet at home please forgive any delay in responding,

I am wondering some things, most of the questions will be in English since I am not educated enough to form the questions.
Also, since I am using a dictionary to form these questions Please forgive any errors.

I am trying to get my family to use Japanese some since I am interested in it, but am unable to leave home much, which is the reason for the long post and questions.

First, What would a mother say to greet her favorite son, like a affectionate greeting in the morning, as a alternate to Ohayo,

Also I was wondering what the phrases for things like the English for,
These would be for a face to face interaction, or over the phone if there is a different set of them,

Be right back,
Whats up/happening,
What are you up to
Mmm… Like Yumm..
Doh! Like head slapping because of a mistake.
Whew ! As in what a relief / glad that’s over
Fancy seeing you here,

On a train or plane,
Please take your seat,/please be seated,


Also is there a term for a person who is considered overly formal,
Like straight laced might be used in English,

A suckup, or brown noser,
Snob or priss, If there is a different term used for a girl who is stuck up that would be great as well,
A slob/ person who is lacking in manners, for eating as well as others if they are used,

How would a teacher or instructer introduce themselves for the first time, or would it be the same as a normal introduction.
And how would they greet a class everyday,

What would you call a woman to whom you have not been introduced to, Like in English Miss, or Ms would be used,
What would you call someone from the country, like a Hick, or redneck, or hillbilly,
If there is a term that is declarative but not derogatory I would like that first if only slightly derogatory, I would like that too,
A term for a nerd, or a overly studious person,

A Cheap person, Like a penny pincher,
A health nut, or a person who is very health conscious



I would also like to have a little help about some recipes,
Mainly I would like to find a good recipe for yakisoba, I have had some instant ones with a mayo/mustard pack and dried cabbage, and I have tried Ramen noodles with bulldog yakisoba sauce, cabbage and kewpie mayo, its not bad but I would like something a bit more like the real thing and less like a mistake,

Also, any baked tofu recipes would be helpful,


Thank you for assisting me in this endeavor,