Exchange letter help! KUDASAI!!

[Bakabrushink]

I'm planning an exchange to Japan next year, I have to write a letter to my host family in japanese. I really need some help with that. i don't know many words in kanji yet and i don't really have a great vocab either (i've been studying on my own since my school doesn't teach nihon-go.)
Please help me!! I really need someone who knows japanese!

[jkeyz15]

We can't write the letter for you..

[Bakabrushink]

I know, i just need someone to proof read.
It's only in romanji so far. here goes

Mazu, domo arigato gozaimasu naze nara yurusu watashi ni anata no ei o taizai shimasu.
Hajimemashite, watashi no namae wa Rachel <last name> desu. Yorochiku onegaishimasu. Watashi wa jugo sai desu to watashi ni lake arrowhead ni california ni amerika wa sunde imasu.


that's all i got so far. I know there's tons of errors in there, somewhere. I just need to know if i'm using the right words or what? I really just need someone to ask questions.

[Sean]

A few suggestions:

Mazu, domo arigato gozaimasu naze nara yurusu watashi ni anata no ei o taizai shimasu.

Mazu wa anata no ie ni taizai sasete moraete doumo arigatou gozaimasu.

You've got to watch out for the word order ('your home - in - say - allowing me to - thank you very much', rather than the English order of 'thank you very much for letting me stay at your home').

They might be something easier than 'sasete moraete' to use. 'Shite kurete' or 'shite kudasatte', perhaps? Hopefully someone else will be able to give you a more definitive answer.

Yorochiku onegaishimasu

Yoroshiku

Watashi wa jugo sai desu to watashi ni lake arrowhead ni california ni amerika wa sunde imasu.

Watashi wa juugo sai de, Amerika no California (karifonia) shuu no Lake Arrowhead (reeku arooheddo) ni sundeimasu.

You can't use 'to' for 'and' when joining sentenses, so you need to use 'de' (which comes from 'desu'). And again, the word order needs to be different (going from biggest to smallest, country - state - city).

[Bakabrushink]

wow. thank you. that was very helpful.

[Javizy]

Using 'o-uchi' instead of 'anata no ie' might sound better. You want to avoid pronouns where possible, especially 'you'.

[Psy]

It's only in romanji so far. here goes

It's a really common mistake but just so you know, it is actually ro-u-ma-ji or because the u looks annoying in English, commonly romaji. There is no N.

I know there's tons of errors in there, somewhere. I just need to know if i'm using the right words or what? I really just need someone to ask questions.

Hating to sound mean, but yes there were. As a rule, if you haven't learned how to say something in Japanese, you can't just take your thoughts in English and convert them directly... learning to think in another language is a difficult and very time consuming task, but it is important for you-- especially with particles-- not to become trapped by English prepositions.

Mazu wa anata no ie ni taizai sasete moraete doumo arigatou gozaimasu.

They might be something easier than 'sasete moraete' to use. 'Shite kurete' or 'shite kudasatte', perhaps? Hopefully someone else will be able to give you a more definitive answer.

Keep with 'morau' or 'itadaku.' Since you're young and receiving a great favor from them, I would make it 'taizai sasete itadaite [doumo] arigatou gozaimasu.' As a rule it's better to be a little too polite than not quite polite enough. Anyway, if you follow the advice of the people here I'm sure you'll make a good impression.

ganbatte!

[josiah]

also
don't be afraid
to make mistakes

japanese are happy when
you try to speak
and they are
usually
more than happy to
correct you

it's better to be a little too polite than not quite polite enough.