Is this report about the Japanese balanced?

[gryffindor]

http://www.mynippon.com/romance/makingfriends2.htm

Hi guys, especially those who have extensive experience working and living in Japan, please read the article above and tell us if it's balanced. I have read other articles which are rather favourable about Japanese attitudes. I am rather confused as to which to believe.

[Bueller_007]

http://www.mynippon.com/romance/makingfriends2.htm

Hi guys, especially those who have extensive experience working and living in Japan, please read the article above and tell us if it's balanced. I have read other articles which are rather favourable about Japanese attitudes. I am rather confused as to which to believe.

FTA:
"While it is true that most Japanese would rather not even see non-Japanese in Japan"

This is bull. There are a lot of people who think this, yes, but certainly not "most".

But it was some valid points, yeah.

"remember that a friendship in Japan has a purpose and once that has been accomplished, Japanese do not consider it polite to prolong it any longer than that."
I don't think the reason he gives is correct, but I think this is true, certainly not all of the time, but much moreso than at home.

The article is just a huge generalization, and you always have to be careful when you read crap like that.

[gryffindor]

http://www.mynippon.com/romance/makingfriends2.htm

Hi guys, especially those who have extensive experience working and living in Japan, please read the article above and tell us if it's balanced. I have read other articles which are rather favourable about Japanese attitudes. I am rather confused as to which to believe.

FTA:
"While it is true that most Japanese would rather not even see non-Japanese in Japan"

This is bull. There are a lot of people who think this, yes, but certainly not "most".

But it was some valid points, yeah.

"remember that a friendship in Japan has a purpose and once that has been accomplished, Japanese do not consider it polite to prolong it any longer than that."
I don't think the reason he gives is correct, but I think this is true, certainly not all of the time, but much moreso than at home.

The article is just a huge generalization, and you always have to be careful when you read crap like that.

Thanks Bueller for putting this matter into perspective for us.

[Bueller_007]

http://www.mynippon.com/romance/makingfriends2.htm

Hi guys, especially those who have extensive experience working and living in Japan, please read the article above and tell us if it's balanced. I have read other articles which are rather favourable about Japanese attitudes. I am rather confused as to which to believe.

FTA:
"While it is true that most Japanese would rather not even see non-Japanese in Japan"

This is bull. There are a lot of people who think this, yes, but certainly not "most".

But it was some valid points, yeah.

"remember that a friendship in Japan has a purpose and once that has been accomplished, Japanese do not consider it polite to prolong it any longer than that."
I don't think the reason he gives is correct, but I think this is true, certainly not all of the time, but much moreso than at home.

The article is just a huge generalization, and you always have to be careful when you read crap like that.

Thanks Bueller for putting this matter into perspective for us.

I would say that the article was written by someone who got pissed off at Japan and left. And yes, there are a lot of these people. I'm one of them, to an extent. I hope I'm not quite THAT bitter.

[gryffindor]

Well, yes, I get that feeling too when I read the article. It's frustrating to try so hard and not be able to break into the society. This is certainly new to people from big cities where there's so much diversity. At least, I know that whites are relatively welcomed in other Asian countries and in some extremes, even looked up to.

Some sales staff in certain Asian countries have been known to provide better service to whites than locals.

[Bueller_007]

Well, yes, I get that feeling too when I read the article. It's frustrating to try so hard and not be able to break into the society. This is certainly new to people from big cities where there's so much diversity. At least, I know that whites are relatively welcomed in other Asian countries and in some extremes, even looked up to.

Some sales staff in certain Asian countries have been known to provide better service to whites than locals.

I'm backpacking around Asia now. (Currently in Saigon.)
Yes, service is probably better for foreigners than locals. But that's only because the colour of their skin looks like the colour of money to people working here.

Plus, we can afford to go to more expensive restaurants, which, generally, have better service. And lots of foreigners are unaware that tipping is not common practice in Asia, so the staff can make more money off of foreigners if they serve them better.

In Japan, on the other hand, foreigners generally don't have as much money as the locals.

I'd say that's a big reason for the difference in treatment.

-- Added later --

Plus, you have to bargain for EVERYTHING here. Everything is negotiable. Foreigners generally can't do this very well, and they're at a particular disadvantage because they usually can't speak the local language. (But the sales staff can speak English, French, Japanese... You name it.) So yet again, it's easier to milk more money out of the foreigner.

[metablue]

I would say that the article was written by someone who got pissed off at Japan and left. And yes, there are a lot of these people. I'm one of them, to an extent. I hope I'm not quite THAT bitter.

What happened?

[Bueller_007]

I would say that the article was written by someone who got pissed off at Japan and left. And yes, there are a lot of these people. I'm one of them, to an extent. I hope I'm not quite THAT bitter.

What happened?

Like most people who leave Japan angry, I got sick of teaching English at a big-box school.
I'd love to go back and work there doing a real job, but Japanese companies almost exclusively hire Japanese people (fresh out of university, of course) for anything that is not foreign-language-related.

[Charles]

gryffindor, it just takes patience and care.

It's always helpful to look at how friendships are made and kept in your own culture. You'll quickly find similar experiences - a friend who doesn't contact you anymore, people who wanted to befriend you for some other reason, etc.

Friendship is a very complicated and delicate process everywhere on the planet. It's just that it's even more complicated with people who are different, have different lifestyles, and come from different places.

For example, in America, it's very difficult to make friends with people outside your financial peer group. People almost always feel uncomfortable next to someone who is richer or poorer, and many never get over it to form a stable friendship. It's not that anyone feels that one is superior to the other. The goals and lifestyles are just so different.

In Japan, just a couple hundred years ago, making friends with someone outside your peer group was completely out of the question. The Samurai were not friends with farmers, merchants were not friends with the daimyo, crafstmen were not friends with the Geisha. Everyone had their place. Stepping out of place was akin to revolution against the state and that meant death. Foreigners were kept out of society specifically so they would not change this system. So, not only did every Japanese person have their place, even foriengers had their place.

That kind of mindset lasted for hundreds of years of peace and prosperity, so it's only natural for their to be remnants. Students have their place in schools, farmers have their place in the agricultural industry, employees of Sony have their place at Sony, the Japanese have their place in Japan, Europeans have their place in Europe, etc.

Personally, I think this mindset will change as nature changes. We're naturally moving to a more globalized world. Every nation is still trying to come to grips with that.

[Jason]

I know different cultures have their own mindsets, but Japan's (once extremely rigid) class system just seems so...lonely. While the last thing I want to happen is that countries all become the same, losing their unique and beautiful culture, at the same time this is one thing I'm glad to hear is continuing to break down. That may be a very Western way of thinking, but I'm a Westerner after all.

[gryffindor]

Charles,

What you said reminded me of the Hindu (Indian) Caste system. I guess it's not as rigid as the hierarchy in Japan, but it is also breaking down slowly but surely.