Dinner with Japanese Businessmen in America

[jondesousa]

I know that this is probably not the most appropriate area to post this topic, but it will hopefully produce some good help.

I was invited by a co-worker to a dinner on Saturday night where he is hosting two business clients from a company in Japan. He requested that I go because he knows I have been studying Japanese and can help to loosen the atmosphere.

Could anyone give me suggestions on mannerisms, etc. that I should use during the meal, for example, should I speak in Japanese when possible, or should I only speak in English. Also, should I bring a small gift for them? Of course, I can introduce myself and I am familiar with basic dinner etiquette (such as saying itadakimasu before dinner and domo gochisousamadeshita after dinner), but any other help would be appreciated. ps. sorry for the romaji, I am using a public computer right now so I don't have Microsoft IME installed.

Thanks in advance for all of your help and advice.

Jon

[Shaydwyrm]

I know that this is probably not the most appropriate area to post this topic, but it will hopefully produce some good help.

I was invited by a co-worker to a dinner on Saturday night where he is hosting two business clients from a company in Japan. He requested that I go because he knows I have been studying Japanese and can help to loosen the atmosphere.

Could anyone give me suggestions on mannerisms, etc. that I should use during the meal, for example, should I speak in Japanese when possible, or should I only speak in English. Also, should I bring a small gift for them? Of course, I can introduce myself and I am familiar with basic dinner etiquette (such as saying itadakimasu before dinner and domo gochisousamadeshita after dinner), but any other help would be appreciated. ps. sorry for the romaji, I am using a public computer right now so I don't have Microsoft IME installed.

Thanks in advance for all of your help and advice.

Jon

I would say don't overdo the Japanese, mainly because you want to keep your friend included in the conversation. Certainly introducing yourself in Japanese is fine, and you can ask them how their visit has been to start out with, for example, but the main portion of the dinner conversation should be in English IMHO.

I don't think you need to bring a gift for them, as they are basically your/your friend's guests. Do, however, offer to show them around (or something similar) if they have time.

Other random tidbits of Japanese etiquette: seat the guests facing the door, keep both hands above the table when eating, and if they finish their drink you can refill it for them. That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

[jondesousa]

Thanks for the reply. I appreciate your input. I never even thought to have them facing the door if possible.

I'll post a note about how it goes.

Thanks again,

Jon

[Griff]

So how did it go?

Eitherway, could someone explain to me the facing the door bit? I don't understand the importance?

[JonB]

never knew that was supposed to happen. I like sitting facing the door or out into the restaurant - maybe it is too many spy movies/books

[Shaydwyrm]

In other circumstances I've heard that more senior businessmen generally sit farthest from the door, while junior people sit near the entrance. My teachers said it was probably something from samurai tradition, without any real significance now. However, I've heard that this is also polite in China, so go figure. Admittedly it's probably a bit more comfortable, since you don't have to turn around in your seat to see who's going in and out.

I've only had anyone comment on it once. I was at a dinner at a nice restaurant in Boston with a great view of the Cambridge skyline. One of my teachers and I had arrived a bit earlier than our Japanese guests, and decided to sit facing the door so that our guests could sit facing the window and see the nice view. Nobody said anything initially, but later on we were discussing Japanese etiquette, and they commented that guests normally sit facing the door. They were surprised that my teacher, who is usually very knowledgeable about these things, had seated them with their backs to the door. Of course, we explained about the view, they said なるほど、なるほど, and we went on with the meal.

So obviously it's not a huge deal, but I think most older Japanese people would notice it.

[annie]

the people sitting closest to the door end up having to get the staff's attention for more drinks and passing empty plates out of the room.

so, in that respect, seating the lower level people by the door makes sense.