Gay Life

[seanolan]

Passive guy in sex is often refered to as a 猫. Yup. A cat. There are other terms as well, but the imagery they bring is something I'll spare you all. Suffice to say, Japan has a LONG way to go before they have an acceptance of homosexuality as anything other than something to be amused by. Their "acceptance" of Hard Gay/Razor Ramon is not an acceptance of him being gay (which he isn't; if he really were, it would make many Japanese too uncomfortable to enjoy his antics) but an acceptance of an act.

Sean

[MattTheCat]

Can anyone comment on the accuracy of this list?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual ... _gay_slang
I've seen several in yaoi manga and on image boards, such as　お釜　and 攻め/受け but most of the rest I've never seen before. Maybe they're dated, or someone just pulled some out of their ass? No pun intended, I swear.

[Ulver_684]

Can anyone comment on the accuracy of this list?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual ... _gay_slang
I've seen several in yaoi manga and on image boards, such as　お釜　and 攻め/受け but most of the rest I've never seen before. Maybe they're dated, or someone just pulled some out of their ass? No pun intended, I swear.

MattTheCat-san!

Thank you for the link, now I learn more new slang words!

[reboundstudent]

Sean has hit the nail on the head, and I'll go a little bit further by saying that I think it's very important to keep in mind that things you see on TV do not reflect the actual culture with 100% accuracy. I have a few Japanese friends who have never lived outside Japan, and while they are big fans of Hard Gay, whenever I discuss my gay friend in America wanting to marry his boyfriend, they become very, very uncomfortable. They keep assuring me not to worry, that my friend will "find a good wife" someday.

I say this only because I have made the mistake of taking my own cultural assumptions and using them to laminate over another culture. For instance, if I see two junior high school boys on the train holding hands, I might think," Oh, how cute! See, Japan is accepting of gays!" In reality, these boys are just friends, and would not consider themselves gay (or interested in men, even if they were.) Holding hands is a Western sign of romantic connection-in Japan, it can just as easily be an innocence show of friendly affection. (That said, a guy and a girl holding hands sends HUGE signals.)
Studying and comparing cultures is a big passion of mine, but there's a huge danger in asking if Japan is "accepting" of gays, because we define "accepting" through Western standards.
Is there violence against gays here? No. But will there be legalized gay marriage in Japan within the next 50 years? I give it about a 10% chance... a gay guy I know is actually waiting until his mother dies to move to Canada and marry his boyfriend, because he says the "shock of telling her he was gay would kill her."

Also, and feel free to correct me on this because I am by no means an expert, but as deep in the closet as they are about MALE homosexuality, it seems totally incomprehensible in Japan that a WOMAN could ever be gay. "What? Women.. women have sexual feelings? No, no, they all just want to get married and be mothers." But that's a WHOLE different topic.

[untmdsprt]

a gay guy I know is actually waiting until his mother dies to move to Canada and marry his boyfriend, because he says the "shock of telling her he was gay would kill her."

Not to be morbid, but maybe he should go ahead and tell her. Either that or go ahead and move to Canada to get on with his life.

Also, and feel free to correct me on this because I am by no means an expert, but as deep in the closet as they are about MALE homosexuality, it seems totally incomprehensible in Japan that a WOMAN could ever be gay. "What? Women.. women have sexual feelings? No, no, they all just want to get married and be mothers." But that's a WHOLE different topic.

Yes, the government has stated that women are just baby machines, and everyone should do their part to repopulate Japan. Personally, I think the Japanese men need to start donating their genes to women of other races. It seems to me that Japanese women don't want them anymore.

[Ulver_684]

Sean has hit the nail on the head, and I'll go a little bit further by saying that I think it's very important to keep in mind that things you see on TV do not reflect the actual culture with 100% accuracy. I have a few Japanese friends who have never lived outside Japan, and while they are big fans of Hard Gay, whenever I discuss my gay friend in America wanting to marry his boyfriend, they become very, very uncomfortable. They keep assuring me not to worry, that my friend will "find a good wife" someday.

I say this only because I have made the mistake of taking my own cultural assumptions and using them to laminate over another culture. For instance, if I see two junior high school boys on the train holding hands, I might think," Oh, how cute! See, Japan is accepting of gays!" In reality, these boys are just friends, and would not consider themselves gay (or interested in men, even if they were.) Holding hands is a Western sign of romantic connection-in Japan, it can just as easily be an innocence show of friendly affection. (That said, a guy and a girl holding hands sends HUGE signals.)
Studying and comparing cultures is a big passion of mine, but there's a huge danger in asking if Japan is "accepting" of gays, because we define "accepting" through Western standards.
Is there violence against gays here? No. But will there be legalized gay marriage in Japan within the next 50 years? I give it about a 10% chance... a gay guy I know is actually waiting until his mother dies to move to Canada and marry his boyfriend, because he says the "shock of telling her he was gay would kill her."

Also, and feel free to correct me on this because I am by no means an expert, but as deep in the closet as they are about MALE homosexuality, it seems totally incomprehensible in Japan that a WOMAN could ever be gay. "What? Women.. women have sexual feelings? No, no, they all just want to get married and be mothers." But that's a WHOLE different topic.

Reboundstudent-san!

Are you trying to say that there are no Japanese girls gay in Japan? They just want to get marry and have children right? that most be true but I think that there is a Japanese girl one in a million out there that could be lesbian or bisexual and that one in a million girl is the one that I'm looking for because I'm bisexual and even if it means forever!

[Javizy]

Are you trying to say that there are no Japanese girls gay in Japan? They just want to get marry and have children right? that most be true but I think that there is a Japanese girl one in a million out there that could be lesbian or bisexual and that one in a million girl is the one that I'm looking for because I'm bisexual and even if it means forever!

I always thought you liked Miki a little too much He was just joking about how conservative the view of women is in Japan. I'm sure there are just as many women lezzin' out in Japan as in any other (non-Muslim) country, if not more considering the current state of affairs, so you might want to start working on your ナンパ technique

[reboundstudent]

Oo Ulver I'm 99.9% sure there's lesbians in Japan... I was merely trying to make light of the gender dynamics and general attitude towards both homosexuality and female sexuality. I'd really like to do more research on it, but as "out" as male gays are in Japanese media, there's very very little said about girl gays.

[Ulver_684]

Are you trying to say that there are no Japanese girls gay in Japan? They just want to get marry and have children right? that most be true but I think that there is a Japanese girl one in a million out there that could be lesbian or bisexual and that one in a million girl is the one that I'm looking for because I'm bisexual and even if it means forever!

I always thought you liked Miki a little too much He was just joking about how conservative the view of women is in Japan. I'm sure there are just as many women lezzin' out in Japan as in any other (non-Muslim) country, if not more considering the current state of affairs, so you might want to start working on your ナンパ technique

Javizy-san!

I forgot about this thread but I'm back and guess what? you were correct! I already tell her but she reject me because she has a boyfriend, I feel so sad and my search still continues unitl the end!

[Ulver_684]

Oo Ulver I'm 99.9% sure there's lesbians in Japan... I was merely trying to make light of the gender dynamics and general attitude towards both homosexuality and female sexuality. I'd really like to do more research on it, but as "out" as male gays are in Japanese media, there's very very little said about girl gays.

reboundstudent-san!

Thank you for clarify and goodluck on your research my friend!

[untmdsprt]

I've seen more men being affectionate toward each other more so than the women have been. Doesn't seem like they're gay, but rather more comfortable in their own skin.

[crabhooves2000]

Something I've been really curious about lately is how being gay in japan (openly gay, as opposed to being gay but having a wife and children) affects their attitude to other people who are different.

Is a Japanese gay person more likely (after all we can't speak for everyone) to be more accepting of a gaijin for example? Or anybody else thats different from the norm in some way.

Or do they hold onto the set of expectations and consider homosexuality an exception because thats what they are? I'm really curious to hear how it changes a persons cultural views.

[Hikaritennyo]

I'm not entirely sure about MOST gays in Japan, but I do have one friend who was very open to "gaijin".
Her girlfriend was very nice to me as well, even though she didn't know much English.
(I'm still learning, so most spoken casual language is lost on me!)

The (Women's) college she went to seemed to have a large proportion of (semi) openly lesbian women. Several even looked/dressed like guys.

However, she REFUSES to come out of the closet to her parents. All her friends know, but FAMILY? They just think they're friends, well... roommates now since they moved in together.

She thought America was wonderful because we accepted gay marriage. I had to then explain that all states don't allow marriage and some communities are still quite prejudiced about homosexuality in general.

[visisl124984]

Very good information in this topic! Thanks!