I went to a concert last night, put on by a Japanese band playing African drums. Everyone I met was 日本人¹.　Just before leaving, I went over everything I had learnt about saying goodbyes in Japanese. I rehearsed it in my head: 「でわ、さきにしつれいします」².　Arms by my side, lowered eyes and a bow from the waist. A bow as deep as I could, look at the floor for 3 seconds, then come back up. I quite proud of my bowing technique, I’d practiced it in the トイレ³　earlier. But instead of returning my carefully rehearsed bow, everyone kept shaking my hand, patting me on the back, giving the half-hug. Everyone kept saying “see ya”, “bye”, “Thanks for coming”, “再见”⁴.
It was a bit strange. After hearing so much about ritualised traditions in Japan, and preparing myself for them, I had received a hi five, a bright smile and a ‘Thanks for coming’. All my practice for nothing!
I am always amazed by Japanese culture. Just when I think I have a grasp on it, it changes!
¹に・ほん・じん, Japanese person
²“Well, excuse me for leaving first”. A very polite thing to say before leaving the room.
³Toilet/bathroom.
¹Zai Jian, Chinese for ‘goodbye’.