How to propose a Japanese woman? Need help.

[Ryokushin]

Hi everyone, I need your advise. I wanna propose my japanese girlfriend, but im not sure how!

Should I go with the engagement ring or without? Personnaly, I'd prefer not to go with the ring, because its too 'Christian' for my taste.

I'd like to know how to propose in a more tradiotional way.

Can you help me please???

Thanks!!

[josiah]

as far as i know,
japanese girls aren't much different to other girls when it comes to marriage.
and by this i mean the ring, romantic location, and guy on bended knee.

i think that this is what most japanese girls want, this is also from my own experience, so hopefully it's too "christian" for you.

i doubt most people see it that way tho

[JonB]

Hey this is Japan - not about religeon but about the bling

Having said that my wife hardly ever wears her engangement ring and just beacuase a Japanese girl is not wearing a ring does not mean that they are not married...

[sashimidimsum7250]

I never knew engagement rings had a religious connotation. That's totally news to me.

[hairlet]

I never new engagement rings had a religious connotation. That's totally news to me.

Ochazuke is right - I don't know if there is any religeous connotation for wedding rings...

Besides, its certainly not exclusively Christian. Other religeons use rings when they getting married or engaged.

[emccormick]

Since rings go back to something like 300 BC, their relationship to Christianity is tenuous at best.

The idea of engagement gifts in general goes back so far in history, in so many ways, that it is really hard to say where it started. This may just represent the fact that people like to get gifts, and have liked this for a long time.

Heck, look at the other side, the dowry. That is a tradition that has just about died out, but it still represents a large gift in relationship to a marriage. And since it is referenced in ancient Babylonian texts, I think it has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with the fact that people like to surround special events with gifts.

Same reasoning seems to go with the bridal shower, wedding gifts, so on and so forth.

Now for something more specific to the Japanese.

In modern Japanese popular culture, IE: Japanese TV shows, the giving of a ring is very common. The start of this trend in ring giving is not new. Even shows that are ten years old have it.

Whether this is life reflecting art, or the reverse, I can not say. But it seems to be the gift of choice that a Japanese female wants when moving the relationship to that point.

So I suggest you break down, buy the ring, and not worry about any preconceived religious connotations that are probably inaccurate.

[untmdsprt]

My Japanese friend doesn't wear her ring but her husband does.

Do what you feel is right without being hung up with any religious thoughts. At worse she can say no. I'd worry less about her and more about her family. Even if she says yes, you still have to win them over.

[binz]

My Japanese friend doesn't wear her ring but her husband does.

Haha I read that as 'My Japanese girlfriend doesn't wear her ring but her husband does.'

That would have been funny Carry on .[/b]

[untmdsprt]

We sometimes joke that she is my girlfriend because everyone wants a Japanese girlfriend. We've gotten a good laugh out of it!!

[KikoSoujirou]

get down on your knee present her with a ring and say "kekon shite kudasai!"
thats the normal way,

or you could meet her parents and have a serious conversation with them and ask them for their permission to marry their daughter. but that's a bit more complex.....

[gerald_ford]

or you could meet her parents and have a serious conversation with them and ask them for their permission to marry their daughter. but that's a bit more complex.....

I actually did both: proposed to girlfriend in private (in English) the American way, then I asked her parents for permission a while later. Very nerve-wracking and my Japanese was worse then than now, but I managed to pull it off. Big thing is to be honest, humble and just ask "Can we marry?" in Japanese. Really do it the Japanese way and be sincere. It'll work.

[DerekJ]

When my girlfriend came to visit me in September, I took her to Niagara Falls and asked some random lady to take a couple of pictures of us in front of the Falls. Just before the second picture, I dropped to one knee with the ring and proposed in both Japanese and English as everyone around us freaked out. She freaked out too, of course. Getting married in two months.

[gerald_ford]

Getting married in two months.

Congrats, DerekJ! Best of luck to you and your wife.

[chris.graphicidentity_510490]

I'm proposing to my girlfriend at a high end restaurant tonight. She knows it is coming. But I'm still a bit nervous, because I know all the other patrons will bear witness to this. Not a bad thing I know, but attention in public is not my strong suit. I think I may ask if she will also make me miso soup for the rest of my life, since I like it a lot, and I find the statement very funny. So I will practice right now "Oreno misoshiru wo tsukuttekurenai".

Till death till us part (or at least till the world runs out of miso soup).

[community.japanese]

san,
konnichiwa.
I hope she could say ‘yes.’
Team JapanesePod101.com
Yuki 　由紀