Japanese people marry whit foreigns?

[sodapple]

皆さん、こんにちは

When I wrote the question I didn't think that this take us untill a "racism debate"

And I would like to clear why of my question:
Of course here in Mexico there is a lot of nice girls, and in any country there are too, and I believe that if I know a girl first must be my friend, but although here and in many places there are nice girls, the japanese girls have "a behavior", "an attitude", "a form of to be" I don't know well how to express it but that's what I like of them. and as you know japanese girls usually aren't like other girls in the world and this question doesn't have to see with racism is a simple choice of personality.


And here in Mexico (I don't know in other countries) the women think that japanese males are "machistas" (sexist, chauvinist (this is the translation of my dictionary)) that's a strong reason here in Mexico why the girls don't want to know japanese males, but wait... all it's possible, here in Mexico exists a great comunity of Japanese inmigrants in the state of "Chiapas" and as a example let me say to all of you that they sings both himns from Mexico and Japan, and also both langagues (spanish and japanese) are learning in the schools, and of course they married with japanese males... ah! and I knew this happen in my country but I wanted to know if japanese girls of "now" want to know foreigns.


またね！
モ－セ

[Belton]

I think I must have missed the survival phrases on interracial sex-fuelled relationships.

The mind boggles. I wonder which actors would provide the dialogue. Or what wonderful tags Markystar would come up with. 笑
maybe it's an extra on the Premium-plus subscription.

Love (or sex) is as valid a motive as any for learning a language, and I think you'd need reasonably high skill to be successful.
Even if it isn't a primary motivation, language is about communication. Communicating with the opposite sex is usually the most fun. Learning Japanese might narrow (or is that expand) your opportunities a bit more. Relationships are going to develop amongst the people you talk to, with whom you can find common interests, goals, desires, values whatever.

As to specifically preferring Japanese partners...
well, by sexual orientation you tend to discard half the human race for starters, then you probably want someone within a specific age range. Education, religion, smoking, drinking, height, weight, leaving the top off the toothpaste might be an issue too. So being specific about other characteristics such as race isn't really that odd. If someone can say they find tall blondes attractive, or have a thing for Irish redheads, why can't they say they find dark haired Japanese attractive.

That said traversing the planet for a date isn't the most practical. You are more likely to find someone nearby. For some people that is Japan however. But I wouldn't dismiss how the Internet and cheap air travel has shrunk the planet a bit.

The original question, which I read as;
Is there some sort of cultural bar in Japan to mixed race marriages?
No, not that I'm aware of.

[JonB]

The original question, which I read as;
Is there some sort of cultural bar in Japan to mixed race marriages?
No, not that I'm aware of.

I can testify to that having a Japanese wife and not being Japanese myself

[Psy]

That was brilliant, Belton, thank you. Appreciate the lengthy discourse from you as well, Kare.

Talk about a can of worms...

[gerald_ford]

I can testify to that having a Japanese wife and not being Japanese myself

So do I, and I advise people to think again when doing inter-racial marriages. Westerners have this romantic image of Japanese girls, but in reality, they are just like any girls you meet anywhere, but with a different culture and set of expectations. Relationships are about two people from different lifestyles coming together and compromising and building a life together; it's not a trivial thing, especially when you have kids (we are proud parents of one daughter).

My wife and I have been together for 10 years, but they've been very challenging for us both at times. We love each other and have become best friends, but it's not been easy, and took a lot of dedication. The cultural differences made this far more difficult because you have to deal with different ideas of romance, in-laws and so on. Unless you're willing to work it out over the long-term both people will get frustrated and break up.

For us it worked (yay!), but I definitely advise people to think carefully about marrying Japanese girls. They're not just cute play-things, they're people too, and deserve respect and mutual understanding.

[untmdsprt]

I would love to have a Japanese husband, but I've been here 3 months, and my boobs have gotten more attention than I have. I can only guess they either think I don't know Japanese, not dressed well enough like Japanese women, or my age (40 but look 32)

I've had a couple of dates, but mainly from men hoping they'd get sex out of the deal. One female friend (Japanese) is even trying to find me men to date. She stresses the fact to them, that I'm here to stay and trying to learn the language. She even tells me Japanese men want white skin and big boobs.

It's pretty much a no go, and unless I start finding more men to date, I'm going to start looking at other countries to live. I'm looking for a partner to grow old with, and all I find is quickies. Why couldn't I find quickies when I was actually looking for them?!?

[hatch_jp]

I would love to have a Japanese husband, but I've been here 3 months, and my boobs have gotten more attention than I have. I can only guess they either think I don't know Japanese, not dressed well enough like Japanese women, or my age (40 but look 32)

I've had a couple of dates, but mainly from men hoping they'd get sex out of the deal. One female friend (Japanese) is even trying to find me men to date. She stresses the fact to them, that I'm here to stay and trying to learn the language. She even tells me Japanese men want white skin and big boobs.

It's pretty much a no go, and unless I start finding more men to date, I'm going to start looking at other countries to live. I'm looking for a partner to grow old with, and all I find is quickies. Why couldn't I find quickies when I was actually looking for them?!?

These are dating sites for the ppl looking for Japanese or Asian partner.
http://www.japancupid.com/
http://www.asianeuro.com/

To be honest, I prefer small to big boobs personally

[untmdsprt]

I would love to have a Japanese husband, but I've been here 3 months, and my boobs have gotten more attention than I have. I can only guess they either think I don't know Japanese, not dressed well enough like Japanese women, or my age (40 but look 32)

I've had a couple of dates, but mainly from men hoping they'd get sex out of the deal. One female friend (Japanese) is even trying to find me men to date. She stresses the fact to them, that I'm here to stay and trying to learn the language. She even tells me Japanese men want white skin and big boobs.

It's pretty much a no go, and unless I start finding more men to date, I'm going to start looking at other countries to live. I'm looking for a partner to grow old with, and all I find is quickies. Why couldn't I find quickies when I was actually looking for them?!?

These are dating sites for the ppl looking for Japanese or Asian partner.
http://www.japancupid.com/
http://www.asianeuro.com/

To be honest, I prefer small to big boobs personally

Thanks for the links, and I'd prefer to have smaller boobs myself. I can never find bras or shirts that will fit right. Whomever thought a 36D was the perfect size can have my pair!

[chloew8]

Anyway... I wonder why only a few Caucasian girls want to get to know a Japanese guy whereas many Caucasian boys want to know a Japanese girl....

It is true that more Caucasian guys are into Japanese girls than Caucasian girls that are into Japanese guys, but it's not entirely uncommon. As a white female that is very into Japanese guys/guys of other races, I've seen that it is a lot more...it's seen as a lot stranger for a white female to like a male of another race than for a white male, you know? I have no idea why this is, and maybe that's just America, but it seems to be that way.

Back to the topic though, I have a feeling that if the person that is going to be married by a Japanese person speaks Japanese and is courteous and sensitive to the respect of their culture, other Japanese will have no problem with it. I think that people find races different to their own interesting, and will be willing to give you a try.
Hope that helped!

[untmdsprt]

Most of the time it has to do with rumors that are going around about how Western women view Asian men. I personally think it has to do with language, how tall the woman wants the man, physical features, etc. Might even have to do with natural selection of passing down the best genes to their babies.

[hatch_jp]

It is true that more Caucasian guys are into Japanese girls than Caucasian girls that are into Japanese guys, but it's not entirely uncommon. As a white female that is very into Japanese guys/guys of other races, I've seen that it is a lot more...it's seen as a lot stranger for a white female to like a male of another race than for a white male, you know? I have no idea why this is, and maybe that's just America, but it seems to be that way.

Really? I'll count on you to introduce me to someone cute Caucasian female.

[untmdsprt]

You could always post an ad on Craig's list to find your dream woman.

[ventura]

I agree with gerald_ford about thinking carefully. I myself, am the child of an inter racial marriage between a casucasion and asian, and can testify to the hardship. Not so much as for the parents as for the children though. My uncle (Japanese) and my aunt (Korean) want to have a baby but under Japanese law that child, even though BORN in Japan with a Japanese father will NOT be given citizenship and will be a foreigner until age 18 where the child can apply for it. And the wife/husband of a Japanese person has to apply for a certian visa every few years to stay in Japan (of course thats the case for all foreigners). For the kids, there will be racial discrimination/tension/missunderstanding not only from both sides of the family but also from strangers who think less of these marriages and thier offspring.

Gerald_ford is right, Japanese women are just like any other girls you might meet and arent there just to be cute for men with warped ideas. If you really want to make a relationship work it cant just be about ethnicity, you have to love the person themself regardless.

And fyi, it is a growing trend for Japanese mothers to want thier daughters to marry non-Japanese men (meanings half-Japanese men, caucasian men, Korean men, etc.) or for girls themselves to want to date outside of thier race. Many of my Japanese friends for instance think half Japanese guys are better/cuter/taller than full and would rather date them. Also MEDIA plays it up alot with soo many mixed people being in entertainment and advertised as 'cool' and 'unique' and 'better than the average Japanese guy'. Oh and I have personally heard girl say they want to marry a white/half guy JUST so thier babies will 'look good'. And as a halfie, I personally wouldnt rule someone out because of ethnicity because well...i dont really have a specific one. No one has to agree with what im saying, I just wanted to provide a little insight.

[JonB]

My uncle (Japanese) and my aunt (Korean) want to have a baby but under Japanese law that child, even though BORN in Japan with a Japanese father will NOT be given citizenship and will be a foreigner until age 18 where the child can apply for it

Are you sure? There have been a number of changes recently in the law and I am fairly certain this is not the case any more - could be wrong.

Also I think society is changing. My son, a half, has had no trouble (touch wood) and plays happily with anyone and I have seen no adverse reaction from Japanese people - quite the opposite in fact. He will just start playing with complete strangers in the park and whilst initially they are unsure because he looks pretty much western as soon as he starts talking Japanese no problems.

I can't comment on schools which is what you often hear as he goes to an international school but we have friends whose kids go to Japanese schools - both halves and completely non Japanese - and I have heard no complaints.

My son is proud of the fact that he is both Japanese and Englsih and I hope that continues.

[markystar]

My son is proud of the fact that he is both Japanese and Englsih and I hope that continues.

いいじゃん！